Are Heels Really a Sign of Success?

Are Heels Really a Sign of Success?

Recently, I spoke at a conference with 10,000 attendees, about 90 percent men. I noticed that many of the women were wearing fashionable, but very high, heels. At one point, I found myself continually noticing a woman standing on the side of the room. She was in four-inch heels and I kept thinking, “is she comfortable in those things!? Why didn’t she wear something more comfortable? Would it really make a difference if she was?”

I have been thinking about this same topic when I watch the impressive role that Nancy Pelosi is playing as Speaker of the House. She is an accomplished political leader with a storied career who will be celebrating her 80th birthday in March. I cannot help to notice that she is walking around the capitol building in very high heels. 

I also spend a lot of time walking from home to work and from building to building once I am at work. I carry my sensible walking shoes in my bag and I do multiple shoe changes throughout the day. In fact, I will do this four times today. On a day like today, I find myself asking the question – why do I do this? The only answer I have come up with is that it’s a norm that I have grown accustomed to, but it just doesn’t make sense. I have always felt underdressed without heels, but that needs to change.

All of this leads me to think about the name of my blog. Does it promote the stereotype that women must wear high heels to be successful? To be honest, when I started this blog, I didn’t give too much thought to the name. Heels of Success was suggested to me, and it sounded like a memorable play on words. However, as time has passed, I believe it misrepresents my purpose in writing these posts. I am considering a change to the name, and I’d like to hear from you. What do you think of the name? Do you have any ideas for a future name? With all of the challenges still facing women in the workplace, uncomfortable feet should be an easy one to overcome!

2019 Recap

2019 Recap

Happy New Year! 

As someone who takes goal-setting seriously, I enjoy looking back on the year, assessing progress I’ve made and looking ahead to all that I still want to do. While long lists of New Year’s resolutions often set you up for failure, I prefer to focus on one professional and one personal goal for the next year. I’m sharing mine below, but I’d also love to hear from you. Reading your comments helps me learn what’s important to you, and to get new ideas for topics to cover on this blog. 

My 2020 Goals:

  • Personal: Take a few minutes each day to meditate. 
  • Professional: Double my efforts to make connections with and listen to front-line staff.  

My Favorite Posts from 2019: 

  1. Knowing Your Bandwidth

I began thinking about this post a few weeks ago, on a typical Sunday evening. My husband Lou and I had been traveling and we’d just returned home. I intended to use the evening to get the kitchen ready for our remodel that was about to begin, pack up everything that needed to be moved, complete the rest of my New Years cards and get ready for the week ahead. As I began this work, he became frustrated; “Madeline, you have an endless supply of bandwidth, and you have to remember that I do not.” READ MORE

2. The Upside of Vulnerability

We live in a culture with an ever-increasing focus on perfection. Whether it’s at home or in the workplace, we put so much pressure on ourselves to do everything, and do it perfectly. At work, the idea of always being over-prepared, with no question you can’t answer and nothing you haven’t thought of is likely appealing. However, this masks one of our most powerful tools as a leader – vulnerability. READ MORE

3. Developing Our Successors, Millennial Women in the Workplace

I am passionate about sharing advice for young women looking to advance their careers, especially for those looking towards the C-Suite. I offer suggestions on everything from taking stretch assignments and negotiating raises, to adjusting bad speech habits and dressing like a leader. However, I sometimes wonder if we’re expecting younger generations to conform to our workplace norms at the expense of truly letting their unique priorities and values shine through? READ MORE

4. Unlearning the Lessons of Charm School

There is nothing more rejuvenating than spending an evening out with close female friends. The camaraderie, support and laughter that accompanies these types of friendships is, in my opinion, an essential part of mental health. I recently had dinner with my two closest friends; women I can share anything and everything with, and with whom I can truly be myself. We talk about our common experience of having our children get married and laugh about how men (and specifically, our husbands!) need to find “man friends” (why do women seem to be so much better at recognizing the essential nature of supportive friendships!?) READ

5. Developing Helping Relationships, Making the Most of Your Networks

With the growth of social media platforms such as LinkedIn and endless other networking groups, we’ve seen a significant increase in our personal and professional networks. Just think about your connections. Now, think about how many of those people you actually know. How many of them could you help you advance your career or make a meaningful business connections? How many of them could you truly ask for a favor or an introduction? Probably not many. I think it’s important to learn how to develop more “surface-level relationships” into more meaningful relationships that can help us meet our personal and professional goals. READ MORE

Wishing you all a happy and healthy 2020 – please leave me a comment below and tell me what you’d like to read on the blog on the next year.

Can We Ever “Lean Out?”

Can We Ever “Lean Out?”

Can We Ever “Lean Out”?

I know first-hand the demands that motherhood places on all women, and the unique challenges it presents to women who work outside the home. I returned to my career as a nurse just six weeks after the birth of my first child, but on a part-time basis. With my second child, I also returned to work with a reduced schedule and with my third, returned immediately to full time. In all instances, I felt rushed to jump back in before I was ready. Far too often women feel that they must choose between successful careers and motherhood, and either sacrifice time with their young children or drop out of the workforce entirely.

According to the Harvard Business Review, 43% of highly-qualified women with children are leaving careers or taking a career break. In another recent story by The New York Times, The Costs of Motherhood Are Rising, and Catching Women Off Guard, the author notes that despite earning more college degrees than men, entering jobs previously closed to them and delaying marriage and childbirth, women age 25 to 54 who work is about the same as it was in 1995. To me, this all points to an urgent need to make the balancing act more achievable as well as make sure we’re not penalizing women for stepping out for a time.  

I recently sat down with CHOP’s AVP of Board Relations and my Chief of Staff, Ellen Dean, to discuss her experience of leaving the workforce, twice. Below is a summary of our conversation. 

MB: What drove your decision to leave the workplace for a time? Did you intend on returning? 

ED: When I first left the workforce, my children were three-and-a-half and one. My husband was traveling a lot for his job and I was feeling extremely overwhelmed trying to balance work and motherhood. There were very few female mentors for me at the firm where I worked after law school, and certainly none in leadership roles. And there was most definitely no option for part time or flexible work arrangements. So seeing all that made it very hard for me to understand how I could even begin to think about juggling that type of career and a family. I knew in my heart that I had reached a juncture when I had to make a decision. The choice that was right for me at the time, for a variety of reasons, was to step away and focus on my family. I was very fortunate that my husband fully supported that decision and that he was willing to shoulder the burden of supporting us financially. I always intended to go back to work when the timing was right for everyone, which I eventually did when the kids were a bit older. When my kids were in high school I again started to feel the tug of not being able to adequately juggle everything. At that point I was in a very demanding and consuming full time + job that left me with little energy or time to really focus on my family. I was desperately afraid that I was going to blink and realize that I had missed important milestones in their lives and that I would regret not having been more present with them. I again made the decision to step away for a while – but I always intended to return to work when my youngest child left for college.

MB: What were some of your fears leading up to that decision? Was it clear-cut?

ED: I think my fears were the same ones that all women contemplating this type of decision feel. I worried about the impact of losing our second income, about not feeling fulfilled being at home, about not having enough stimulating adult interactions and a clear routine, about what my friends and family would think about my choice, and about not being able to get another job when I was ready to jump back in. In both instances my decisions were not clear-cut and took a lot of soul searching and mental back and forth before I could really articulate what I wanted to do and why.

MB: Did you find it difficult to re-enter the workplace?

ED: Despite all of my fear and anxiety about finding a way back in, re-entering not once, but twice, was much easier than I expected it to be. Having a large network of people to reach out to was extremely helpful in terms of identifying opportunities and opening doors for constructive conversations. However, when I told people that my intention was to go back to work as soon as my youngest left for college, many of them laughed and said “good luck making that happen” or “things don’t always work like that you know.” I started networking and talking to people about nine months before my daughter was going to leave for college and I went into my job search with the benefit of having had time to clearly define what I was looking for and enough self-confidence to know that I could bring value to an organization and that I wasn’t going to settle for something that didn’t really excite me. I got my offer from CHOP and started my job two months before she left for school!

MB: How does it feel to be back in the workplace? What did you learn?

ED: I am thrilled to be back at work and I am extremely grateful that I didn’t just get any job – I truly got my dream job. As an employee I always gave 100% to whatever I was doing, but it feels very different to me now that I am not trying to juggle different priorities. I think the most important thing I learned is that there isn’t one path for everyone. We all have to make decisions that work best for us and, as women, we need to be supportive of each other. While Sheryl Sandberg encourages everyone to Lean In, we also need to understand and accept that Leaning Out is an equally acceptable option for many of us. I also learned that it is possible to lean back in once you’ve leaned out for a while.

MB: What would be your advice to women who are mid-career, but are feeling the pressures of work-life balance and might be interested in taking a pause to prioritize other things? 

ED: The first thing I would suggest is that they speak with their employer to see if any options exist for alternative work arrangements that might provide more flexibility. While I know that this won’t always be possible, I think that there are a lot more employers who are open to these arrangements than there were even 10 or 15 years ago. If a flexible schedule isn’t an option, or if someone is committed to taking a pause like I did, then I would encourage them to find ways to continue developing their skill sets while they are out of the workforce – through volunteering, working on projects, or consulting. And, lastly, I would highly recommend that they keep in touch with their co-workers, bosses, mentors and other professional connections so that they have a network of people to reach out to when they are ready to go back to work.

 _________________________________________________________________________

Thank you to Ellen for taking the time to share her story. How do you think we can better support women so that taking a break isn’t a career death sentence? How should we advise women to be strategic in how they take that time off, so that returning isn’t impossible and that they’re not unemployable? One thing is for certain – having more women in leadership positions will go a long way in pushing this conversation forward.  

Beat ‘Em With Your Brains

Beat ‘Em With Your Brains

An Interview with Dr. Eve J. Higginbotham on Diversity in Leadership

In the past few years, there has been much public discussion over gender equality. While not nearly enough progress has been made in the fight for equal pay or representation at the highest levels, we have seen some notable advances. For example, a record-breaking number of women CEO’s (33) appeared on the most recent Forbes 500 list. However, when we dig a little deeper we see that despite this progress, there is another story to be told. Only one of the 33 women listed was a woman of color, and she was holding an interim position. If you ask many women in the workplace, the advances we’re celebrating are clearly not benefitting all of us. 

I started Heels of Success with the goal of elevating women in the workplace, but it’s important to me that we are elevating ALL women. In my role as CEO of CHOP, increasing representation is a priority for me. I’ve spent considerable time focusing on diversity within our Board of Trustees, and CHOP’s Diversity Council, which I chair, is partnering with teams across the organization to implement our Diversity Strategic Plan. Seeing this Forbes list made me stop and think about how I could address this issue on the blog. I decided to speak with a woman who has made diversity and inclusion a core element of her personal and professional mission, Dr. Eve J. Higginbotham, Vice Dean and Professor of Ophthalmology at the Perelman School of Medicine at the University of Pennsylvania. A friend and professional colleague of mine, I’ve always admired Eve, and even more so after this interview. 

She’s had an extraordinary career, beginning with her undergraduate and graduate studies at MIT then attending Harvard Medical School. She’s served as the Dean of the Morehouse School of Medicine in Atlanta, Senior Vice President for Health Sciences at Howard University, and Professor and Chair of the Department of Ophthalmology and Visual Sciences at the University of Maryland in Baltimore, a position she held for 12 years. Her resume reads like a masterclass in leadership – holding top positions of all kinds, often in male-dominated organizations and fields (you can read her full bio here). Her personal story also provides insights into how women of color, or those with mutiple intersects, as she puts it, rise above a lifetime of microaggressions, discrimination and bias, and how white women might become better allies in addressing the lack of racial diversity in leadership. 

Dr. Higgenbothom was kind enough to sit down with me recently for an interview. Below is a summary of our conversation. 

MB: Tell me about your upbringing. Was it always expected that you’d pursue a career? 

EH: My parents were both teachers and always raised me to focus on education and what I wanted to achieve, despite any discrimination I might face. And growing up in New Orleans in the 50’s and 60’s, there was discrimination – every day “microagessions” as we refer to them now. My mother would always say, “just beat ‘em with your brains” and my father was a Tuskegee Airman – both of them provided great examples and formed me in a way that I knew not to let the environment drag me down. But I did grow up being influenced by what was happening around me – and I learned that I only had control over how I reacted to the world around me, and how I let it shape me. 

MB: How have you dealt with discrimination in your career? 

EH: I remember noticing how the subjectivity in medical school illuminated discrimination in a new way. Growing up, I liked math and science because it was all about merit – there was a wrong or a right answer, so I thought MIT was a good place to start my higher education, and it was. The fact that engineering and science are much more data driven didn’t leave as much room for discrimination – if you got a problem right, you excelled. It wasn’t until medical school that I started to notice things like that fact that not everyone was being asked to give a report. In fact, one of the reasons I went into a surgical specialty is because there was a comfort level there that reminded me of my life at MIT; I was able to publish scientific papers in my speciality, and that really helped me have a rapid rise – allowing me to become a department chair in my early forties. 

MB: Why do you think there is still such a lack of representation at the highest levels of corporate leadership? Do you have any perspective on why we are we seeing an increase in white women holding these positions and not women of color? 

EH: There are more white women to begin with in the pipeline and more white women who are likely to have sponsors or even family members in positions of power who can serve as sponsors. The bottom line is that we do not have sufficient diversity at the highest levels, which is unfortunate given the power of cognitive diversity. Bringing together different perspectives produces more innovative and profitable organizations. I believe it is a matter of critical numbers of women who can help others succeed and demonstrate to others what is possible. 

MB: What are some concrete things leaders should be doing to ensure that the next generation of leaders they’re preparing represent a diverse group of women? 

EH: There are four things I would recommend to leaders:

  1. Recognize the barriers that exist within oneself, within the relationships where one spends most of one’s time, the micro and macro environments, and the national political context.
  2. Once one becomes self-aware, develop strategies within each of these domains that you can change and role model for others.
  3. Develop a plan to implement each of these strategies. For example, understand our own biases; expand your relationships within the professional workplace and include new perspectives in your research or work. Develop a plan related to at least one process within your workspace and optimize its objectivity, e.g. evaluation of your direct reports. 
  4. Finally, seek out others with a different perspective and have a constructive conversation about differing perspectives. Find common ground and seek to understand the differences. As leaders, we need to be coaches, mentors, and sponsors and seek out new future leaders to nurture and grow.  If everyone does these things, they we will have more diverse leadership that is developed and sustained.

MB: Alternatively, what mistakes are that those advocating for gender equity making that have led us to such under-representation for women of color? 

EH: In my opinion, many of us tend to gravitate to those who have shared experiences and one must be intentional in going beyond the immediate group of individuals with whom one spends time and mentor.  There has been an intentionality to going outside one’s usual group of collaborators.  

Thank you to Dr. Higginbotham for taking the time to talk with me, and for so candidly sharing her experiences and perspectives. As leaders, we know the most important way to achieve success in anything we do is to develop thoughtful strategies, set goals, and ensure there is accountability for achieving them. This applies directly to increasing diversity in our leadership teams. If you’re in a leadership position, I encourage you to develop a plan for creating a more diverse, inclusive and equitable environment in your organization through setting specific, measurable goals. At my organization, our diversity goals include improving the environment at CHOP by developing and modeling a culture of inclusion; increasing our focus on recruiting, developing and retaining diverse talent; providing more equitable care; and improving CHOP’s reputation in these important areas. I truly believe that our diversity is our greatest strength, and this work will make us even stronger. 

Developing Helping Relationships: Make the Most of Your Networks

Developing Helping Relationships: Make the Most of Your Networks

With the growth of social media platforms such as LinkedIn and endless other networking groups, we’ve seen a significant increase in our personal and professional networks. Just think about your connections. Now, think about how many of those people you actually know. How many of them could you help you advance your career or make a meaningful business connections? How many of them could you truly ask for a favor or an introduction? Probably not many. I think it’s important to learn how to develop more “surface-level relationships” into more meaningful relationships that can help us meet our personal and professional goals. 

Most women are now familiar with the idea of mentor-ship, and the importance it can play in career development. Another term that’s garnered a lot of attention in recent years is sponsorship. Sponsors focus less on mentoring and more on advocating professionally for their protegees. Both of these relationships are dedicated two-way partnerships that often take time and a natural connection in order to flourish. However, there is a third category when it comes to career development that doesn’t get quite as much attention — I call them “helping relationships.” In contrast to mentor-ships and sponsorship’s, these helping relationships do not require the same level of investment or depth. However, they must still be genuine and reciprocal. Below are a few tips to make the most of your networks, and develop some of these helping relationships. 


1. Decide on your goals.

It’s impossible to make the most of your network if you don’t know what you are trying to achieve. Think about your more immediate career goals or an even loftier goal that may or may not happen, something you might just like to learn about.  For example, I am fascinated by the idea of serving our country as a U.S. ambassador, and I have even considered it as a second career. Whether or not this will actually happen in my future, I have put my aspiration out there while I’m networking. I recently scheduled a meeting with a high-profile politician, whose wife is an ambassador. I intend to ask him about his wife’s career, gain any insights I can, and share my interest with him. I can’t expect anyone to assist me in reaching goals if they don’t know I have them! In fact, that practice led me to a corporate board position- I expressed my interest to another woman, and when she knew of an open seat, she thought of me. Make a list of your goals and share them with others!

2. Dig into your LinkedIn network.

The great thing about LinkedIn is that you can stay connected to nearly anyone you meet and you can see their connections.  Look back over your goals and connect with others that might help you to reach them. Use LinkedIn to search keywords or people. Do this regularly to continuously find opportunities to build your network. But don’t forget to take these offline – ask people to get coffee, lunch or happy hour. As helpful as our online networks can be, the personal connection still matters.

3. Practice your asks.

I recommend practicing out loud any time you’re going to have an important conversation or speak publicly. Planning ahead helps you to stay focused on your goals. I have spoken to a number of people who fear they are being too forward so they stick to chit-chat and avoid making a request. Keep your ask short, simple and clear, and identify exactly what you’re hoping that person may be able to do for you (i.e. make an introduction, recommend you for a position, keep you in mind for a project you know they’re leading). 


4. Always follow-up and reciprocate. 

It’s so important to remember that any relationship, even if it’s only on LinkedIn, needs basic courtesy to be fulfilling. Don’t leave messages unread, don’t make asks unless you intend to take the help that’s offered, don’t discount offers of help that are less than what you originally asked for and always send a thank you. Be sure you’re extending the goodwill, and proactively offer ways in which you may be able to help others.

Developing Our Successors: Millennial Women in the Workplace

Developing Our Successors: Millennial Women in the Workplace

I am passionate about sharing advice for young women looking to advance their careers, especially for those looking towards the C-Suite. I offer suggestions on everything from taking stretch assignments and negotiating raises, to adjusting bad speech habits and dressing like a leader. However, I sometimes wonder if we’re expecting younger generations to conform to our workplace norms at the expense of truly letting their unique priorities and values shine through? 

We can see this tension in our politics through the contrast between Alexandria Oscasio Cortez and Nancy Pelosi – an interesting balance of respecting the knowledge and expertise of the generations before you, while working to incorporate the values of a new cohort, anxious to disrupt the status quo. It’s a conversation that’s popping up in industries everywhere as our workforce become more multigenerational – how can we all work together in a productive way? Stereotypes and negative assumptions about the generation that now makes up 40% of the workforce (60% here at CHOP), run rampant. However, Millennial women in particular, are the most educated cohort in our history and have incredible potential to be a new type of leader. I believe we need to embrace the different values and needs of Millennials and incorporate them into our workplaces, rather than pushing them to conform to the cultures of previous generations. 

Twice a year, I hold an employee town hall meeting — an opportunity for leadership to hear directly from our employees and to understand the things that are important to them. In our most recent town hall, I was struck by the new types of questions that were coming from the audience; what is CHOP doing to promote wellness and work-life balance? What are we doing to ensure we’re operating with sustainability in mind? It reminded me that as our workforce changes, we need to be sure that we’re not simply developing our employees to fit a mold, but that we’re truly incorporating their strongest assets into our culture. We need to be speaking more clearly to them about things like our EcoCHOP initiatives and allow them to feel heard – that we take their concerns seriously and act on them. 
As illustrated in a recent articles in Forbes entitiled Let Them Lead: Millenial Women Are Ready to Blaze a New Trail, these women care deeply about issues like bias, discrimination and inequality, transparency around compensation, work/life balance and self-care. Instead of making assumptions about the motivations behind these values (you’ve probably heard them – Millennials need too much validation, they want promotions without working for them, they want too much time off, etc.) I challenge leaders from older generations to see the immense opportunity embracing these values could bring to your organization. These women are eager to lead, and it’s our responsibility to offer guidance and mentorship without expecting them to simply conform to the leadership norms we’ve established. These are our successors, and we should be working very closely with them to establish the next evolution of workplace culture.