Amidst the chaos and rhetoric of the past few weeks, I don’t want to lose sight of an important historic event, our first female Vice President. As I’ve had time to reflect on the monumental significance of seeing Kamala Harris sworn in, I am also feeling a bit disheartened how long it has taken to have a female voice in the White House. As I watched the inauguration, I certainly realized the gravity of the situation; watching the first woman, the first Black and Asian woman, being sworn in to the executive branch as VP. But then I found myself thinking, why should this be so unusual and why did it take so long?
Half of the people in this country are women, yet we are still so underrepresented in our government. It took 100 years from the time we were given the right to vote until we had a woman in the White House. It is progress, yes, but it is slower than it should be. And, as with the situation of Kamala Harris, it often occurs that a woman who is promoted is replaced with a man. This will leave a complete void of Black women in the US Senate; something that is not acceptable given the critical role Black women have, for so long, played in our democracy.
As a person who has dedicated my career to investing in the wellbeing of our children, I was also deeply moved seeing Amanda Gorman stand there, shining as a centerpiece and a beacon of hope in the 2021 Inauguration. She acknowledged that many people invested in her, and now she stands, like Kamala Harris, as an example for girls, especially girls of color, throughout our country. When we invest in children, especially children who are facing difficult odds or who were not born with deep privilege, we do create a different future. In many ways, it’s where our work towards equal representation truly begins.
I would love to hear from all of you – how did you feel watching the swearing in of our first female Vice President? What do you think it says about where we are as a culture and how might it affect the fight for equal representation?
For most women, the op-ed by The Wall Street Journal’s Joseph Epstein represents something that’s all too familiar. Without giving it too much more air time, his general argument was that Dr. Jill Biden should consider dropping the “Dr.” from her title since she is not a medical doctor. He goes on to mock her dissertation on “Student Retention at the Community College” Level: Meeting Students’ Needs,” and suggests that her title feels “fraudulent” and “comic.” The condescension, the defense that his argument was directed at both men and women, and the clear disdain for ambitious and accomplished women is something women have dealt with — and continue to deal with — for years.
There has been much fury over the decision by the Wall Street Journal to publish this, and many have rushed to Dr. Biden’s defense. However, there are many women who deal with this type of attitude that don’t benefit from national outrage and begin to internalize these sexist attempts to diminish our accomplishments. Often, they are less egregious and less public than this op-ed, but nevertheless, common and real.
I will never forget the time when I was excited to meet a well-known elected official. I was introduced as the President of my organization. The person responded – you are too young and pretty to be President. I felt my face get red, luckily it was an evening event in a dark room. I was left speechless and simply shook his hand. I walked away feeling as though I did not “own the role.” But, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it was his problem, not mine. Unfortunately, he is in a position of power and has the ability to make decisions about women and their careers. This incident happened before the # MeToo movement and I often wonder whether that same person would be more aware of how he speaks about women leaders now.
In the words of Michelle Obama (who defended Dr. Biden in a recent Instagram post), “We’re all seeing what also happens to so many professional women, whether their titles are Dr., Ms., Mrs., or even First Lady: All too often our accomplishments are met with skepticism, even derision. We’re doubted by those who choose the weakness of ridicule over the strength of respect. And yet somehow, their words can stick — after decades of work, we’re forced to prove ourselves all over again.”
Indeed, their words can stick. So my message to any woman reading this today is that next time your accomplishments, whether personal or professional, are belittled, ridiculed or diminished, remember that that is a sign of their weakness. You are not an imposter and there are many people out there who see your hard work and respect it. Tell another woman about your experience, commiserate together, and then commit yourselves to speaking out loudly when you see it being done to other women.
“My mother told me two things constantly. One was to be a lady, and the other was to be independent. The study of law was unusual for women of my generation. For most girls growing up in the ’40s, the most important degree was not your B.A., but your M.R.S.”
– Ruth Bader Ginsburg
Ruth Bader Ginsburg is known for dedicating her life to advancing gender equality in our country. She put into motion critically important legal parameters to support womens’ rights that I benefit from on a daily basis. But as I reflect on the legacy Justice Ginsburg leaves behind, I’ve come to realize the more symbolic importance of her example for all women, including me. Her life story provided a much needed example of how we can do it all; the compromises, sacrifices, and perseverance inherent for women in choosing to realize their career goals, while still being a wife and mother. RBG went against the status quo at a time when women were neither expected nor encouraged to do so, becoming a role model for women in realizing their ability to be multifaceted.
Justice Ginsburg made a major shift in her life when she chose to leave Harvard Law School and attend Columbia University– a decision that came about as a result of her husband taking a job in New York City. For many women, especially in that era, a move like that would be the end of their academic career. For RBG, however, she enjoyed a true partnership of equals with her husband, one that was firmly ahead of its time. His support of her career pursuits was a critical ingredient for her success, and their marriage shows an example of how a strong partnership can help to elevate women.
The choices Justice Ginsburg made in pursuing her family and career bring to mind my mother-in-law’s life story. She left college in her sophomore year to marry my father-in-law who had been just drafted during the Korean war. She moved to an army base in Texas where the next chapter of her life began. She raised four children and supported her husband in his career with multiple moves, she took additional college classes and worked outside of the home but regretfully she never completed her degree. My mother-in-law has every reason to be proud of her accomplishments but, she still looks back on that time and wishes she had the support and role models that would have allowed her to complete her education while raising four children in Missouri in the 50’s and 60’s. Even when I was in the early years of my career as a young mother, there were not many examples. As RBG’s legacy has become quite notorious, it’s my hope that her life story will continue to provide a roadmap for new generations of women still navigating the challenges of dual roles.
So while the legal protections and precedents she helped establish are of paramount importance, my gratitude to RBG goes beyond her legal work. Justice Ginsburg, thank you for your courage, perseverance and being a shining example that gave me and all women a path forward.
I’d love to hear from you – what role models, if any, did you look up to throughout your life? Were you able to have examples of women advancing their careers while balancing their home life? What, if anything, will RBG’s legacy mean to you?
Over the past few months, we have seen a pandemic that has disproportionately impacted Black and Brown communities, we have seen joblessness and financial despair and we have seen George Floyd killed, to our horror, in front of our eyes. As a result of these injustices, and many others that have long been a part of our society, we continue to see protests in our city and around the country. Many of us know, this is a time for action.
This is a time for leaders to take a stand. It is not enough to have good intentions, it is not enough to say that Black Lives Matter, leaders must act. As a leader, you can start by making your expectations clear – racism is not tolerated at your organization. It is also important for a leader to use their platform in the community.
At my own organization, I sent out a message last week outlining a list of actions that I have and will take towards ending the injustice of racism. Here are a few examples of my commitments:
1. I will leverage trusted advisors: For the last 13 years, I have served as the Chair of Diversity Council at my organization. I have continued to hold this role as CEO. The Council has served as trusted advisors to me on all matters related to diversity, inclusion and equity. I will continue to use the Diversity Council, our Employee Resource Groups and our Chief Diversity Officer, to guide my decisions around policies and programs.
2. I will increase the number of diverse leaders at my organization: In the last five years as CEO, we have hired seven executives and one Department Chair who identify as racial minorities. While that may seem like a step forward, it is clear I have more room to increase the diversity of leaders at my organization. I have set very specific expectations for my team and myself to increase the diversity of our leaders over the next several years.
3. I will promote health equity: As a CEO of a hospital, I will develop a more formal Health Equity Center and appoint a leader to focus on developing clinical programs, based on our research, which will promote health equity.
4. I will raise awareness and set an example: I will use my leadership platform and my organization’s role in the community as a trusted source of information, to inform the public and elected officials about the fact that racism is a public health crisis. I will continue using resources to support programs and services in black communities so that every child has a fair chance at a healthy future.
If you are a leader, it is time to act. Develop a clear list of action steps, make certain that they are measurable, not simply good intentions. Distribute those action steps to your organization and make sure you develop forums where you can listen to the people who identify as racial minorities and let them know that they matter to you. Leaders can make a difference to end the injustices of racism in our organizations and our society.
After being at home every day with my two-year-old daughter and my husband for 10 plus weeks, we’ve found some new clarity on how we want our family life to operate going forward. Over the weekend, a conversation about egg muffins became an a-ha moment. For those who’ve don’t know about this Pinterest-inspired convenience breakfast, they are mini frittatas that you can make ahead of time for a week of busy mornings, everyone rushing to get ready for work and daycare. I casually mentioned that we hadn’t made them in a while, and we should make a batch. As the words left my mouth, I realized – we don’t need to eat breakfast quickly (or in the car) anymore. We’ve enjoyed eating three meals a day at our dinner table together as a family for almost three months. No one is commuting, we’re not doing daily pickups and dropoffs at daycare. There is simply more time.
Another a-ha moment was on our daughter’s birthday. We had a big party planned to celebrate her turning two, which we were sad to cancel. But when the day came, we realized that she was probably happier spending time with just us rather than having a house full of people singing happy birthday to her (I still have video of her crying as we all sang to her at her first birthday party). As we sat there with her eating pizza and Face-timing with family, we also reflected on how much more exhausted and less present we’d be if we were entertaining for 50 people.
There is a silver lining to this virus that I think many families can relate to. We typically have (exhausting) play dates, work commitments and weekend plans with friends and family. We spend time researching 30 minute meals and efficient meal prep ideas, we take late-day phone calls from the car to maximize our workday before daycare pickup, we spend all weekend cleaning the mess that our hurricane of a schedule creates in our home. We enjoy only a few hours each weekday with our daughter. Now, we have almost 40 extra hours a week to watch her grow and change. While the stress of balancing two careers without childcare has been hard, we’ve found a way to share the load and make it work (though that is not the case for many women). We realize how much we can actually get done in fewer hours, and we’ve made the decision to reduce how many hours she’s in daycare for the future. We’re lucky to have this option, but it made me realize how much I wish it was the norm. Many families have no choice but to go along with the 40+ hour workweeks that our culture has deemed the “right” way to do things.
In our social circles and our workplaces, there seems to be a new level of acceptance of putting family first. The expectations on our time and energy have lowered. I don’t feel bad when I’m on the phone with a client and my child is yelling for more crackers in the background. We’re seeing how easily meetings can be phone calls, emails or video conferences. We’re all in the same boat, and the important work still gets done. Yes, we are missing the connection that physical proximity brings, but it’s giving us the chance to reset and learn which obligations fill us up, and which take away from our precious energy. It’s given us the mental space to re-evaluate our priorities and try to change our lives in any way we can to align with them. It’s not possible for everyone, but it’s my hope that American work culture can start to change, allowing people to more easily put family first.
I have always had a high bandwidth for work and for social commitments. A typical week for me is often overscheduled, and a peek at my calendar is something that would probably provoke anxiety for most people. For example, the first week of May was supposed to look like this: Friday night alumni event for my husband’s medical school, a 10:30am Saturday morning work event, a Saturday afternoon 2nd birthday party for my granddaughter, a Saturday night event for work, leaving Sunday for Seattle, then back on Wednesday for a two day-trip to Washington DC.
But, what actually happened that week?
I watched my granddaughter open her presents on Facetime, I attended two video conference meetings to replace my meetings in Seattle and Washington and I participated in video meetings and visited my team at the hospital.
I almost always have events on weekends, dinner meetings and travel, but now, I’m not sure when those types of activities will resume. I’m realizing that this significant change in schedule is not all bad for me, and I have been reflecting on the positives of this new pace. I have had dinner with my husband every night since March 12th. Despite having to work from home on the weekends during this time, I have not worn a suit or heels for almost 12 weeks. More time to connect with loved ones (even if it’s via video or phone), working in yoga pants, not wearing makeup; these are all things I could really get used to doing. I’m adjusting to this change in pace and realizing that I was truly overscheduled.
Although the work has been grueling and extremely stressful, and at one point I had not had a day off in six weeks, there has been something good about spending more time at home and less time running from Philadelphia, to Seattle to DC all in a week. I am wondering how I will adjust to the demands of my job when they shift back to my former schedule? Can I do a better job of controlling it? Will we all have new approaches to how we schedule our work? I hope so.
I know that many of you have also had time to think about your lives, schedules and routines during this unprecedented time. I’d love to hear from you about what you’ve learned and how you think your routines may change post-quarantine. I asked my 35-year-old daughter-in-law (a self-employed mother of a two-year-old) the same question, and HERE is her perspective on what staying home has taught her.
