As someone who takes goal-setting seriously, I enjoy looking back on the year, assessing progress I’ve made and looking ahead to all that I still want to do. While long lists of New Year’s resolutions often set you up for failure, I prefer to focus on one professional and one personal goal for the next year. I’m sharing mine below, but I’d also love to hear from you. Reading your comments helps me learn what’s important to you, and to get new ideas for topics to cover on this blog.
My 2020 Goals:
Personal: Take a few minutes each day to meditate.
Professional: Double my efforts to make connections with and listen to front-line staff.
My Favorite Posts from 2019:
Knowing Your Bandwidth
I began thinking about this post a few weeks ago, on a typical Sunday evening. My husband Lou and I had been traveling and we’d just returned home. I intended to use the evening to get the kitchen ready for our remodel that was about to begin, pack up everything that needed to be moved, complete the rest of my New Years cards and get ready for the week ahead. As I began this work, he became frustrated; “Madeline, you have an endless supply of bandwidth, and you have to remember that I do not.” READ MORE
2. The Upside of Vulnerability
We live in a culture with an ever-increasing focus on perfection. Whether it’s at home or in the workplace, we put so much pressure on ourselves to do everything, and do it perfectly. At work, the idea of always being over-prepared, with no question you can’t answer and nothing you haven’t thought of is likely appealing. However, this masks one of our most powerful tools as a leader – vulnerability. READ MORE
3. Developing Our Successors, Millennial Women in the Workplace
I am passionate about sharing advice for young women looking to advance their careers, especially for those looking towards the C-Suite. I offer suggestions on everything from taking stretch assignments and negotiating raises, to adjusting bad speech habits and dressing like a leader. However, I sometimes wonder if we’re expecting younger generations to conform to our workplace norms at the expense of truly letting their unique priorities and values shine through? READ MORE
4. Unlearning the Lessons of Charm School
There is nothing more rejuvenating than spending an evening out with close female friends. The camaraderie, support and laughter that accompanies these types of friendships is, in my opinion, an essential part of mental health. I recently had dinner with my two closest friends; women I can share anything and everything with, and with whom I can truly be myself. We talk about our common experience of having our children get married and laugh about how men (and specifically, our husbands!) need to find “man friends” (why do women seem to be so much better at recognizing the essential nature of supportive friendships!?) READ
5. Developing Helping Relationships, Making the Most of Your Networks
With the growth of social media platforms such as LinkedIn and endless other networking groups, we’ve seen a significant increase in our personal and professional networks. Just think about your connections. Now, think about how many of those people you actually know. How many of them could you help you advance your career or make a meaningful business connections? How many of them could you truly ask for a favor or an introduction? Probably not many. I think it’s important to learn how to develop more “surface-level relationships” into more meaningful relationships that can help us meet our personal and professional goals. READ MORE
Wishing you all a happy and healthy 2020 – please leave me a comment below and tell me what you’d like to read on the blog on the next year.
Vocal Fry. Up-speak. Nasal. Too loud. Too high-pitched. Too quiet. Shrill.
We talk a lot about women’s voices. I have even written about the ways we can modulate our voices to appear more confident and capable. The truth is, there is scientific research that supports the fact that, “people associate low voices—which is to say the ones generally innate to men—with competence, leadership ability, and intelligence.” I can’t help but wonder, as a mentor, am I playing into a fundamentally sexist perception when I coach women to modulate their voices? Aren’t we actually just telling women to sound more like men?
Of course, Hillary Clinton is a prime example of how women’s voices are the topic of intense conversation. She wrote in her most recent book that for many years she was coached and trained to change the way she spoke so that she would be more “likeable” and would be taken seriously as a Presidential candidate. However, she noted that simultaneously, she was constantly criticized for sounding inauthentic. How could she possibly sound authentic when she’d spent years altering her voice?
I am the first to admit that I’m extremely distracted when I hear a woman using vocal fry, up-speak or using a very high-pitched tone. I do tend to think it makes them appear less serious, and I’m more inclined to listen to a women whose tone is steady and lower-pitched. This is a struggle for me – I know that by encouraging women to modulate their voices, I’m likely participating in gender bias, but am not sure how to change my perception. I would love to hear from you; do you find yourself judging a woman’s competencies based on the tone of her voice? Do you think paying attention to your speaking habits has helped you in your career? How do you feel about the ever-present conversation around women’s voices and our collective perception of traditionally more masculine voices as the ideal? Please share your comments with me – I will address some of them on my Facebook Group.
Public speaking is among one of the most commonly cited fears. Even among the most confident leaders and those who consider themselves to be experts, there are many opportunities to improve. In my role as CEO, I am frequently called upon to speak in front of others. These speaking engagements can range from national forums to town hall-style meetings at my own organization. Though I’m experienced, I’ve come to appreciate what an art public speaking really is and how much skill development and PRACTICE is consistently needed to take your abilities to the next level.
Villanova Commencement Speech 2015
Until recently, my public speaking skills have been developed through simple trial and error and learning a few tips from coaches. However, to prepare for a high-profile national speaking engagement, I decided to consult with internationally acclaimed speechwriter and presentation transformation specialist, Lynda Spillane of The Persuasive Word. She’s worked with many heads of state, presidents, and CEO’s to help them improve their public speaking skills. She has helped me to really move to the next level of professionalism in my public speaking. I want to share a few tips I’ve collected over the years, both from my own experience and from experts I’ve worked with:
Speaking at the J.P. Morgan Healthcare Conference 2017
Be careful of reading. If you have an occasion to speak from talking points, it is important to know that what works well for reading consumption, does not work well for speaking. In other words, if something reads well it doesn’t always sound the same when you are speaking it.
Ditch the slides. NEVER read from long, dense slides. If you use slides with lots of text, the audience will read them while you’re talking and they won’t listen to you! If you are compelled to use slides, I repeat – PLEASE don’t read each line of your slides.
Harness your nervous energy. Don’t aim to rid yourself of all nerves before a speech; a bit of nervous energy is okay. Like other types of performances, it helps to keep you on your toes.
Put the audience first. The most important aspect of public speaking is your relationship with the audience. It is not about you, it is about them. Don’t focus on what you think about your own performance, focus on the experience for the audience.
Slow down. One of the most common mistakes in public speaking is that most speakers talk too quickly. Remember that the audience needs time to process what you are saying.
Speak up. In addition to speaking too quickly, many people don’t speak loudly enough. Even if you have a microphone, take a deep breath and make sure you’re projecting your voice.
Breath. When you get to the podium, take a deep breath, look at the audience, taking your time to look around the room. Make eye contact with them. It will help to build anticipation for what you are about to say. Once you begin, take a deep breath before each sentence so that you can complete the sentence without running out of air. This sounds easy but it actually takes some practice.
Fake it ‘til you make it. Even if you’re as nervous as can be, there is no reason to share that with the audience. Don’t begin with a self-deprecating statement (read more about that here) and never insinuate that you don’t belong there or that you are nervous.
I highly recommend hiring a coach if public speaking is a regular part of your job. Another coach I’ve worked with is Barbara Pachter of Pachter & Associates. Where have you found helpful advice for conquering public speaking? What are some of your tips? Share them with us!
If you’d like to learn more about working with Lynda Spillane, you can visit her website here.
[Photo courtesy of The Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia]
A young female administrator I was mentoring asked me to describe executive presence and how she might practice it for an upcoming presentation. I thought I would share my response here, with the hope that it provides concrete tips for establishing yourself as a confident, effective leader.
What You Wear
Presence is a state of mind communicated through the body. Certainly there is a component of executive presence that relates to what you wear. Do you feel put together? Are you dressed appropriately for the occasion? A good rule of thumb is that it is better to be overdressed than underdressed, and simplicity is better than overstated or ‘loud’ clothes. Like it or not, among executives, first impressions are very important.
How You Feel
Clothing and being outwardly assembled will help with first impressions, but confidence in yourself will take you through the entire encounter, whether it is an important meeting, presentation, or interview. “Owning” who you are and the position you hold is more important than any wardrobe choice. Stand tall. Get the imposter feeling out of your head and take charge of your presence. Prepare well so that you are comfortable with what you are about to do and say.
The Way You Speak
Executive presence is communicated to others through tone of voice and posture. Try to find a balance between professional formality and a degree of relaxed comfort. I know that may sound difficult, but there are some discrete ways of carrying yourself that can help:
sit up straight;
talk with your head up;
project your voice;
and don’t be afraid to interrupt if it seems appropriate to the room – you’re adding to the conversation.
Executive presence is about your attitude of confidence, ownership and belonging as well as doing what you need to do to look the part.
Your Elevator Speech
Executive presence is not just a feeling you hold to yourself; it is also about taking certain actions to establish your credibility with others. One way to do this is to create, practice and use an Elevator Speech to introduce yourself effectively. It should be brief but assertive of your accomplishments – no self-deprecation! Include your name, current title, primary responsibility, and something impactful about your work or your organization. My elevator speech goes like this:
I’m Madeline Bell. I’m the CEO of the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia, where I manage a 2.5 billion dollar corporation with over 13,000 employees. We’re a globally recognized healthcare provider and were recently named the #1 children’s hospital in the country.
It might sound like bragging to you, but to make a lasting first impression with a busy executive in just a few seconds, it is absolutely essential to include memorable, impressive details about yourself.
Executive Presence in Action
Presentations
When giving a presentation, pretend that you are telling a story to a good friend outside of work. Keep your arms down by your sides. Find two or three people in different areas of the room (one on the right, one on the left and one in the back, for example) and just make eye contact with them. This is a simple way to appear relaxed and like you are talking to the entire group. Remember to take a deep breath and pause before you start speaking, and watch your speed! Most people tend to talk too fast.
Meetings
The first time I attended the CEO Council for Growth meeting, I went into the room resolved to speak. If I didn’t speak at the first meeting, I knew it would be that much harder for me to assert myself in future meetings. I wanted to set the tone with the rest of my colleagues that, despite being one of very few women in the room, I was comfortable being there and I knew the value of my voice and perspective. I paid close attention to my body language (some of which felt unnatural for me, frankly), and I sat towards the front of the table.
When you join a regular meeting, don’t wait until the sixth gathering to make yourself heard to the group. It is so much more difficult to alter the group’s dynamic to include your voice and presence once it has been established without you. Remember: you belong there.
Here are a couple resources about executive presence which I’ve found helpful and interesting along the way:
[Photo courtesy of The Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia]
Apologizing. Discrediting what we’re about to say. Raising our hands before we speak. These are all things I’ve seen high-powered women do in meetings. They are not things I have seen many, if any, men do. I was recently in a room with a room full of extremely accomplished and intelligent physicians, debating possible solutions to a problem. As suggestions, statements and explanations flew around the room, I noticed that the sole female physician (who actually had a higher title and more experience than the men in the room) was the only participant in the debate to raise her hand before she spoke and prefaced her statement with “I’m sorry, but.” She had all the right credentials to be at the table (and then some!) and should have felt confident, yet she felt the need to ask permission to enter the discussion and apologize for what she internalized as an interruption.
In another meeting on a different day, I sat with a room full of women leaders. As we discussed a variety of topics, a woman whom I had always been impressed by and seen as an up-and-coming leader, spoke up and said, “Well, this might be silly, but…” She then went on to give a thought-out and interesting idea. I was so disappointed. Later, I pulled her aside and asked her if she had realized her habit. She reacted with shock, and said she hadn’t. I asked how she was feeling as she contributed to the discussion, and she said she wasn’t sure if it was appropriate for her to chime in. Though it was a bit uncomfortable to ask her about it, I was able to use it as a coaching moment and I believe she really appreciated the feedback. As leaders, we have to not simply watch other women practice these often unconscious bad habits, we need to use them as opportunities for self-reflection and growth.
So why do we feel discomfort speaking up, arguing for our position or speaking freely without fear that it may sound “silly?” As women, we are often raised to be “good girls,” to be polite and agreeable. It can often feel uncomfortable to be bold, to interrupt or to disagree but the key is: feel it on the inside, but don’t say it out loud. You may feel like what you’re about to say may be silly but don’t announce that to the room. When you preface a statement with a self-deprecating phrase like “I’m sorry, but” or “This may be silly, but” it only serves to discredit the validity of what you’re about the say. Most people in the room may not pick up on it directly, but when you don’t speak confidently it definitely affects how you are perceived. It sets you on an uneven playing field and contributes to the unconscious bias against women.
Being aware of these tendencies is the first step to changing them. I can’t tell you how often I practice conversations in my head on the car ride to work, or visualize how I am going to present myself in an important meeting. By being hyperaware of how you project yourself, you can avoid letting any of that internal self-doubt (that we ALL have from time to time) become external. Just remember, confidence is practiced.
