Amidst the chaos and rhetoric of the past few weeks, I don’t want to lose sight of an important historic event, our first female Vice President. As I’ve had time to reflect on the monumental significance of seeing Kamala Harris sworn in, I am also feeling a bit disheartened how long it has taken to have a female voice in the White House. As I watched the inauguration, I certainly realized the gravity of the situation; watching the first woman, the first Black and Asian woman, being sworn in to the executive branch as VP. But then I found myself thinking, why should this be so unusual and why did it take so long?
Half of the people in this country are women, yet we are still so underrepresented in our government. It took 100 years from the time we were given the right to vote until we had a woman in the White House. It is progress, yes, but it is slower than it should be. And, as with the situation of Kamala Harris, it often occurs that a woman who is promoted is replaced with a man. This will leave a complete void of Black women in the US Senate; something that is not acceptable given the critical role Black women have, for so long, played in our democracy.
As a person who has dedicated my career to investing in the wellbeing of our children, I was also deeply moved seeing Amanda Gorman stand there, shining as a centerpiece and a beacon of hope in the 2021 Inauguration. She acknowledged that many people invested in her, and now she stands, like Kamala Harris, as an example for girls, especially girls of color, throughout our country. When we invest in children, especially children who are facing difficult odds or who were not born with deep privilege, we do create a different future. In many ways, it’s where our work towards equal representation truly begins.
I would love to hear from all of you – how did you feel watching the swearing in of our first female Vice President? What do you think it says about where we are as a culture and how might it affect the fight for equal representation?
For most women, the op-ed by The Wall Street Journal’s Joseph Epstein represents something that’s all too familiar. Without giving it too much more air time, his general argument was that Dr. Jill Biden should consider dropping the “Dr.” from her title since she is not a medical doctor. He goes on to mock her dissertation on “Student Retention at the Community College” Level: Meeting Students’ Needs,” and suggests that her title feels “fraudulent” and “comic.” The condescension, the defense that his argument was directed at both men and women, and the clear disdain for ambitious and accomplished women is something women have dealt with — and continue to deal with — for years.
There has been much fury over the decision by the Wall Street Journal to publish this, and many have rushed to Dr. Biden’s defense. However, there are many women who deal with this type of attitude that don’t benefit from national outrage and begin to internalize these sexist attempts to diminish our accomplishments. Often, they are less egregious and less public than this op-ed, but nevertheless, common and real.
I will never forget the time when I was excited to meet a well-known elected official. I was introduced as the President of my organization. The person responded – you are too young and pretty to be President. I felt my face get red, luckily it was an evening event in a dark room. I was left speechless and simply shook his hand. I walked away feeling as though I did not “own the role.” But, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it was his problem, not mine. Unfortunately, he is in a position of power and has the ability to make decisions about women and their careers. This incident happened before the # MeToo movement and I often wonder whether that same person would be more aware of how he speaks about women leaders now.
In the words of Michelle Obama (who defended Dr. Biden in a recent Instagram post), “We’re all seeing what also happens to so many professional women, whether their titles are Dr., Ms., Mrs., or even First Lady: All too often our accomplishments are met with skepticism, even derision. We’re doubted by those who choose the weakness of ridicule over the strength of respect. And yet somehow, their words can stick — after decades of work, we’re forced to prove ourselves all over again.”
Indeed, their words can stick. So my message to any woman reading this today is that next time your accomplishments, whether personal or professional, are belittled, ridiculed or diminished, remember that that is a sign of their weakness. You are not an imposter and there are many people out there who see your hard work and respect it. Tell another woman about your experience, commiserate together, and then commit yourselves to speaking out loudly when you see it being done to other women.
We are all experiencing a big shift in the way we work. Even prior to the pandemic, more people were working remotely than ever before. Now, 42 percent of the U.S. labor force is working from home full-time, according to new research from Stanford University. Most of the stigmas about working from home have eroded as we all adjust to this new reality. Although there are some who crave a return to office or want their teams to return to the office, I think leaders can and will play an important role in creating flexibility in where we work. I am hoping that in our post-COVID world, we will have a more flexible, work-from-home economy.
I work at a place where most of the staff have been on site at the bedside or in exam rooms caring for patients. But, we still have more than 5,000 people working from home. I also sit on boards that have held all of their meetings remotely for the past 8 months. I could never have imagined this kind of shift. So how do leaders play a role in ensuring that we learn from this new normal and develop new and sustainable work habits?
It starts with modeling the right behaviors and ensuring that you don’t tolerate what I call “AWA (alternative work arrangement) shaming”. I do a combination of AWA and working on site, so that I am visible to those that need to be physically there. I believe that visibility goes a long way towards showing that I value and support their work. At the same time, I am trying to ensure that our leaders get much more comfortable with the idea that oftentimes their teams are more productive at home.
I practice and get comfortable with my new normal. When I can, I take walks if I have a break during the day. Clearing my head is really important and gives me the opportunity to think and act more purposefully. Until recently, I would have never built that time into my day. I have also been trying to create some boundaries when I work at home. When you are working from home, it is easy to start working from the time you open your eyes until bedtime. I needed to stop that behavior by putting boundaries around my work time and I needed to express that to my leadership team.
Now that 90% of my closet — the part that comprises my business attire — has been dormant for many months, I have gotten more comfortable with “dressing down”. In the past, I was much more formal at work and hence created a more formal dress code atmosphere with the people around me. That will change now that I have gotten more comfortable with a relaxed business attire at home and in the office. Today I actually wore black jeans and a cardigan sweater to work. I would have never done that in the past but I am committed to creating a new, more comfortable trend.
I do miss being able to grab a tea with a colleague or go to a happy hour networking event after work. But, virtual happy hours and cooking demonstrations have become a new evening event for me. While it is not the same as in-person connections, it is a way to meet our deep need for human connection during this isolating time.
My husband and I often remark about how lucky we are that our kids are grown and we are not homeschooling them while working from home. I’m fortunate to have a living situation that allows me to work from home successfully, but I know a lot of people who don’t have that same luxury of privacy or a designated workspace at home. I have seen some of my colleagues get very creative. One works from his garage to give him space from his children who are attending school virtually. I do worry about the long-term effects caused by the disparity in home offices, and women are disproportionately affected due to child care responsibilities.
The separation between our work and personal lives can be hard to distinguish right now, so setting boundaries anyway we can is imperative to our success and wellbeing. I am committed to making sure that more flexible working arrangements are sustainable in the future. In the meantime, we are all learning as we go and doing our best to model an “it’s okay to work from home” mindset with our teams.
This week, I was reviewing a few important projects with one of my team members, when I asked about two of the women who had been leading the work. My colleague shared with me that both of the women were on voluntary furlough so that they could care for their young children due to childcare provider closures from the pandemic. She told me about a third high-potential woman who is struggling to home school her children now that their school went back to remote learning. Later that same day, I was talking to an employee who told me that she needed to reduce her hours in order to help her daughter with remote learning. I was crestfallen to hear these stories for two reasons. One, I came to the conclusion that at my organization, we are losing the talent of these young women and two, what does this say about the future of women in the workplace?
After doing a bit of research, I realized the situation we are seeing at my organization is not anecdotal. In September alone, almost 900,000 women dropped out of the workforce in the U.S. According to an analysis by the Center for American Progress (of these, 324,000 were Latinas and 58,000 were Black women.) Millennial mothers are nearly three times more likely than millennial fathers to report being unable to work due to a school or childcare closure from the pandemic. While this massive exit from the job market by young mothers is shocking, this statistic is not a product of the pandemic alone. It represents the intersection of many complex issues.
For many decades, we’ve focused on the progress women have made in narrowing the wage gap, advancing their careers while also having children and generally, “having it all.” But when you really talk to young women who are doing this, they still feel like they’re walking a tightrope and could fall off at any moment. Women are still responsible for the majority of childcare and household duties, as study after study continues to show. Despite being highly educated and represented in the workforce at unprecedented levels, Millennial women are making less than Gen X women. This is in part, due to entering the workforce during the largest economic downtown since the Great Depression. According to the Atlantic, “The generation unlucky enough to enter the labor market in a recession suffers “significant” earnings losses that take years and years to rebound, studies show, something that hard data now backs up.”
The verdict is that this resulted in a full decade of lost wages for this generation of women.
As leaders, it’s important to recognize that what working mother’s feel did not happen overnight. In 2018, just 28% of mothers with children under 18 said that working full time was ideal (according to the Institute for Family Studies). While I worry deeply about the long term effects of this current crisis for our young working mothers, I am also more committed than ever to supporting the conditions that lead to bringing them back in enthusiastically. This means advocating for changes in how we fund childcare and childcare workers, continuing to look for ways to close the wage gap between not just men and women, but also between women of color, millennial women and older generations, and continuing to push organizations to think about how they support parents to navigate this very complex issue.
“My mother told me two things constantly. One was to be a lady, and the other was to be independent. The study of law was unusual for women of my generation. For most girls growing up in the ’40s, the most important degree was not your B.A., but your M.R.S.”
– Ruth Bader Ginsburg
Ruth Bader Ginsburg is known for dedicating her life to advancing gender equality in our country. She put into motion critically important legal parameters to support womens’ rights that I benefit from on a daily basis. But as I reflect on the legacy Justice Ginsburg leaves behind, I’ve come to realize the more symbolic importance of her example for all women, including me. Her life story provided a much needed example of how we can do it all; the compromises, sacrifices, and perseverance inherent for women in choosing to realize their career goals, while still being a wife and mother. RBG went against the status quo at a time when women were neither expected nor encouraged to do so, becoming a role model for women in realizing their ability to be multifaceted.
Justice Ginsburg made a major shift in her life when she chose to leave Harvard Law School and attend Columbia University– a decision that came about as a result of her husband taking a job in New York City. For many women, especially in that era, a move like that would be the end of their academic career. For RBG, however, she enjoyed a true partnership of equals with her husband, one that was firmly ahead of its time. His support of her career pursuits was a critical ingredient for her success, and their marriage shows an example of how a strong partnership can help to elevate women.
The choices Justice Ginsburg made in pursuing her family and career bring to mind my mother-in-law’s life story. She left college in her sophomore year to marry my father-in-law who had been just drafted during the Korean war. She moved to an army base in Texas where the next chapter of her life began. She raised four children and supported her husband in his career with multiple moves, she took additional college classes and worked outside of the home but regretfully she never completed her degree. My mother-in-law has every reason to be proud of her accomplishments but, she still looks back on that time and wishes she had the support and role models that would have allowed her to complete her education while raising four children in Missouri in the 50’s and 60’s. Even when I was in the early years of my career as a young mother, there were not many examples. As RBG’s legacy has become quite notorious, it’s my hope that her life story will continue to provide a roadmap for new generations of women still navigating the challenges of dual roles.
So while the legal protections and precedents she helped establish are of paramount importance, my gratitude to RBG goes beyond her legal work. Justice Ginsburg, thank you for your courage, perseverance and being a shining example that gave me and all women a path forward.
I’d love to hear from you – what role models, if any, did you look up to throughout your life? Were you able to have examples of women advancing their careers while balancing their home life? What, if anything, will RBG’s legacy mean to you?
