For most women, the op-ed by The Wall Street Journal’s Joseph Epstein represents something that’s all too familiar. Without giving it too much more air time, his general argument was that Dr. Jill Biden should consider dropping the “Dr.” from her title since she is not a medical doctor. He goes on to mock her dissertation on “Student Retention at the Community College” Level: Meeting Students’ Needs,” and suggests that her title feels “fraudulent” and “comic.” The condescension, the defense that his argument was directed at both men and women, and the clear disdain for ambitious and accomplished women is something women have dealt with — and continue to deal with — for years.
There has been much fury over the decision by the Wall Street Journal to publish this, and many have rushed to Dr. Biden’s defense. However, there are many women who deal with this type of attitude that don’t benefit from national outrage and begin to internalize these sexist attempts to diminish our accomplishments. Often, they are less egregious and less public than this op-ed, but nevertheless, common and real.
I will never forget the time when I was excited to meet a well-known elected official. I was introduced as the President of my organization. The person responded – you are too young and pretty to be President. I felt my face get red, luckily it was an evening event in a dark room. I was left speechless and simply shook his hand. I walked away feeling as though I did not “own the role.” But, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it was his problem, not mine. Unfortunately, he is in a position of power and has the ability to make decisions about women and their careers. This incident happened before the # MeToo movement and I often wonder whether that same person would be more aware of how he speaks about women leaders now.
In the words of Michelle Obama (who defended Dr. Biden in a recent Instagram post), “We’re all seeing what also happens to so many professional women, whether their titles are Dr., Ms., Mrs., or even First Lady: All too often our accomplishments are met with skepticism, even derision. We’re doubted by those who choose the weakness of ridicule over the strength of respect. And yet somehow, their words can stick — after decades of work, we’re forced to prove ourselves all over again.”
Indeed, their words can stick. So my message to any woman reading this today is that next time your accomplishments, whether personal or professional, are belittled, ridiculed or diminished, remember that that is a sign of their weakness. You are not an imposter and there are many people out there who see your hard work and respect it. Tell another woman about your experience, commiserate together, and then commit yourselves to speaking out loudly when you see it being done to other women.