Vul·ner·a·bil·i·ty [noun]
The quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally.

We live in a culture with an ever-increasing focus on perfection. Whether it’s at home or in the workplace, we put so much pressure on ourselves to do everything, and do it perfectly. At work, the idea of always being over-prepared, with no question you can’t answer and nothing you haven’t thought of is likely appealing. However, this masks one of our most powerful tools as a leader – vulnerability.

The act of admitting you don’t have all the answers comes with risk. Show too much vulnerability and you lose people’s confidence, too little and you appear cold and intimidating. I’m currently mentoring a woman who holds a very high-level position at one of the world’s largest companies, and we’ve been discussing this topic frequently. She, like many women, feels like she can never say, “I don’t know” without appearing unprepared or unqualified. I believe this habit can backfire, and what you’re really showing is that you have no vulnerabilities, which has consequences for both your relationship with your manager, as well as with those you manage. But how do you find that sweet spot between showing vulnerability, and feeling exposed?

Vulnerability and Managing Up

When I first began in the CEO role, I was very concerned with feeling in command of any situation; particularly in meetings with our Board. I wanted to go in having all the answers and be five steps ahead of anything they might want or need. After a few years, I’ve learned to say  “I don’t feel comfortable with that subject matter, but I can find an expert to help me get up to speed,” or, “I haven’t worked with my team on this topic yet, but I’ll get back to you.” I realized over time, that they’re okay with those responses. In fact, I believe they trust me more, knowing that I’ll always admit if I don’t know something.

When showing vulnerability however, you must also instill confidence that you are taking action to find the answers you don’t currently have. I was recently in a meeting, and one of my colleagues shared a struggle he was having with turnover on his team. Those in the meeting left feeling worried that there was a crisis looming. The error he made was not closing with something along the lines of, “but I’m confident that we will identify solutions to this problem before our next meeting” or laying out the concrete steps he was taking to fix the problem.

The key here, whether you’re speaking to your Board or your manager, is making sure to always close the loop. Admit what you don’t know, find the answers, and follow up.

Vulnerability and Managing Down

I’ve been working hard lately to show vulnerability when managing down – it’s important to me to show people I’m not perfect. I realized that CHOP has a culture of perfection (due to the nature of our work, it’s a necessity), but I make an effort to talk about mistakes I’ve made and how I’ve learned from them. Every year, I teach a class for the Philadelphia Academy of School Leaders, and I discuss how to be more relatable to those who work for you. The example I give most often is how in the past, I’ve made some big hiring mistakes, then not acted quickly enough to let them move on. When talking about these miscalculations, I focus on the lessons I learned, which I hope gives people permission to take risks and learn from their mistakes, as opposed to being “perfect.” Additionally, I believe that the vulnerability I show in admitting fault makes me more relatable. Leaders should model and emphasize progress over perfection, while encouraging their employees to make sure they know how to navigate the path to get the answers they need when they don’t have them.

Whether you are managing up or managing down, the incredible power of vulnerability is something that can transform a workplace culture, bring people together, and eventually, lead to increased accountability. It’s a topic we need to see leaders become more comfortable discussing and addressing among their teams.