We are all experiencing a big shift in the way we work. Even prior to the pandemic, more people were working remotely than ever before. Now, 42 percent of the U.S. labor force is working from home full-time, according to new research from Stanford University. Most of the stigmas about working from home have eroded as we all adjust to this new reality. Although there are some who crave a return to office or want their teams to return to the office, I think leaders can and will play an important role in creating flexibility in where we work. I am hoping that in our post-COVID world, we will have a more flexible, work-from-home economy.
I work at a place where most of the staff have been on site at the bedside or in exam rooms caring for patients. But, we still have more than 5,000 people working from home. I also sit on boards that have held all of their meetings remotely for the past 8 months. I could never have imagined this kind of shift. So how do leaders play a role in ensuring that we learn from this new normal and develop new and sustainable work habits?
It starts with modeling the right behaviors and ensuring that you don’t tolerate what I call “AWA (alternative work arrangement) shaming”. I do a combination of AWA and working on site, so that I am visible to those that need to be physically there. I believe that visibility goes a long way towards showing that I value and support their work. At the same time, I am trying to ensure that our leaders get much more comfortable with the idea that oftentimes their teams are more productive at home.
I practice and get comfortable with my new normal. When I can, I take walks if I have a break during the day. Clearing my head is really important and gives me the opportunity to think and act more purposefully. Until recently, I would have never built that time into my day. I have also been trying to create some boundaries when I work at home. When you are working from home, it is easy to start working from the time you open your eyes until bedtime. I needed to stop that behavior by putting boundaries around my work time and I needed to express that to my leadership team.
Now that 90% of my closet — the part that comprises my business attire — has been dormant for many months, I have gotten more comfortable with “dressing down”. In the past, I was much more formal at work and hence created a more formal dress code atmosphere with the people around me. That will change now that I have gotten more comfortable with a relaxed business attire at home and in the office. Today I actually wore black jeans and a cardigan sweater to work. I would have never done that in the past but I am committed to creating a new, more comfortable trend.
I do miss being able to grab a tea with a colleague or go to a happy hour networking event after work. But, virtual happy hours and cooking demonstrations have become a new evening event for me. While it is not the same as in-person connections, it is a way to meet our deep need for human connection during this isolating time.
My husband and I often remark about how lucky we are that our kids are grown and we are not homeschooling them while working from home. I’m fortunate to have a living situation that allows me to work from home successfully, but I know a lot of people who don’t have that same luxury of privacy or a designated workspace at home. I have seen some of my colleagues get very creative. One works from his garage to give him space from his children who are attending school virtually. I do worry about the long-term effects caused by the disparity in home offices, and women are disproportionately affected due to child care responsibilities.
The separation between our work and personal lives can be hard to distinguish right now, so setting boundaries anyway we can is imperative to our success and wellbeing. I am committed to making sure that more flexible working arrangements are sustainable in the future. In the meantime, we are all learning as we go and doing our best to model an “it’s okay to work from home” mindset with our teams.
This week, I was reviewing a few important projects with one of my team members, when I asked about two of the women who had been leading the work. My colleague shared with me that both of the women were on voluntary furlough so that they could care for their young children due to childcare provider closures from the pandemic. She told me about a third high-potential woman who is struggling to home school her children now that their school went back to remote learning. Later that same day, I was talking to an employee who told me that she needed to reduce her hours in order to help her daughter with remote learning. I was crestfallen to hear these stories for two reasons. One, I came to the conclusion that at my organization, we are losing the talent of these young women and two, what does this say about the future of women in the workplace?
After doing a bit of research, I realized the situation we are seeing at my organization is not anecdotal. In September alone, almost 900,000 women dropped out of the workforce in the U.S. According to an analysis by the Center for American Progress (of these, 324,000 were Latinas and 58,000 were Black women.) Millennial mothers are nearly three times more likely than millennial fathers to report being unable to work due to a school or childcare closure from the pandemic. While this massive exit from the job market by young mothers is shocking, this statistic is not a product of the pandemic alone. It represents the intersection of many complex issues.
For many decades, we’ve focused on the progress women have made in narrowing the wage gap, advancing their careers while also having children and generally, “having it all.” But when you really talk to young women who are doing this, they still feel like they’re walking a tightrope and could fall off at any moment. Women are still responsible for the majority of childcare and household duties, as study after study continues to show. Despite being highly educated and represented in the workforce at unprecedented levels, Millennial women are making less than Gen X women. This is in part, due to entering the workforce during the largest economic downtown since the Great Depression. According to the Atlantic, “The generation unlucky enough to enter the labor market in a recession suffers “significant” earnings losses that take years and years to rebound, studies show, something that hard data now backs up.”
The verdict is that this resulted in a full decade of lost wages for this generation of women.
As leaders, it’s important to recognize that what working mother’s feel did not happen overnight. In 2018, just 28% of mothers with children under 18 said that working full time was ideal (according to the Institute for Family Studies). While I worry deeply about the long term effects of this current crisis for our young working mothers, I am also more committed than ever to supporting the conditions that lead to bringing them back in enthusiastically. This means advocating for changes in how we fund childcare and childcare workers, continuing to look for ways to close the wage gap between not just men and women, but also between women of color, millennial women and older generations, and continuing to push organizations to think about how they support parents to navigate this very complex issue.
After being at home every day with my two-year-old daughter and my husband for 10 plus weeks, we’ve found some new clarity on how we want our family life to operate going forward. Over the weekend, a conversation about egg muffins became an a-ha moment. For those who’ve don’t know about this Pinterest-inspired convenience breakfast, they are mini frittatas that you can make ahead of time for a week of busy mornings, everyone rushing to get ready for work and daycare. I casually mentioned that we hadn’t made them in a while, and we should make a batch. As the words left my mouth, I realized – we don’t need to eat breakfast quickly (or in the car) anymore. We’ve enjoyed eating three meals a day at our dinner table together as a family for almost three months. No one is commuting, we’re not doing daily pickups and dropoffs at daycare. There is simply more time.
Another a-ha moment was on our daughter’s birthday. We had a big party planned to celebrate her turning two, which we were sad to cancel. But when the day came, we realized that she was probably happier spending time with just us rather than having a house full of people singing happy birthday to her (I still have video of her crying as we all sang to her at her first birthday party). As we sat there with her eating pizza and Face-timing with family, we also reflected on how much more exhausted and less present we’d be if we were entertaining for 50 people.
There is a silver lining to this virus that I think many families can relate to. We typically have (exhausting) play dates, work commitments and weekend plans with friends and family. We spend time researching 30 minute meals and efficient meal prep ideas, we take late-day phone calls from the car to maximize our workday before daycare pickup, we spend all weekend cleaning the mess that our hurricane of a schedule creates in our home. We enjoy only a few hours each weekday with our daughter. Now, we have almost 40 extra hours a week to watch her grow and change. While the stress of balancing two careers without childcare has been hard, we’ve found a way to share the load and make it work (though that is not the case for many women). We realize how much we can actually get done in fewer hours, and we’ve made the decision to reduce how many hours she’s in daycare for the future. We’re lucky to have this option, but it made me realize how much I wish it was the norm. Many families have no choice but to go along with the 40+ hour workweeks that our culture has deemed the “right” way to do things.
In our social circles and our workplaces, there seems to be a new level of acceptance of putting family first. The expectations on our time and energy have lowered. I don’t feel bad when I’m on the phone with a client and my child is yelling for more crackers in the background. We’re seeing how easily meetings can be phone calls, emails or video conferences. We’re all in the same boat, and the important work still gets done. Yes, we are missing the connection that physical proximity brings, but it’s giving us the chance to reset and learn which obligations fill us up, and which take away from our precious energy. It’s given us the mental space to re-evaluate our priorities and try to change our lives in any way we can to align with them. It’s not possible for everyone, but it’s my hope that American work culture can start to change, allowing people to more easily put family first.
I have always had a high bandwidth for work and for social commitments. A typical week for me is often overscheduled, and a peek at my calendar is something that would probably provoke anxiety for most people. For example, the first week of May was supposed to look like this: Friday night alumni event for my husband’s medical school, a 10:30am Saturday morning work event, a Saturday afternoon 2nd birthday party for my granddaughter, a Saturday night event for work, leaving Sunday for Seattle, then back on Wednesday for a two day-trip to Washington DC.
But, what actually happened that week?
I watched my granddaughter open her presents on Facetime, I attended two video conference meetings to replace my meetings in Seattle and Washington and I participated in video meetings and visited my team at the hospital.
I almost always have events on weekends, dinner meetings and travel, but now, I’m not sure when those types of activities will resume. I’m realizing that this significant change in schedule is not all bad for me, and I have been reflecting on the positives of this new pace. I have had dinner with my husband every night since March 12th. Despite having to work from home on the weekends during this time, I have not worn a suit or heels for almost 12 weeks. More time to connect with loved ones (even if it’s via video or phone), working in yoga pants, not wearing makeup; these are all things I could really get used to doing. I’m adjusting to this change in pace and realizing that I was truly overscheduled.
Although the work has been grueling and extremely stressful, and at one point I had not had a day off in six weeks, there has been something good about spending more time at home and less time running from Philadelphia, to Seattle to DC all in a week. I am wondering how I will adjust to the demands of my job when they shift back to my former schedule? Can I do a better job of controlling it? Will we all have new approaches to how we schedule our work? I hope so.
I know that many of you have also had time to think about your lives, schedules and routines during this unprecedented time. I’d love to hear from you about what you’ve learned and how you think your routines may change post-quarantine. I asked my 35-year-old daughter-in-law (a self-employed mother of a two-year-old) the same question, and HERE is her perspective on what staying home has taught her.
As someone who takes goal-setting seriously, I enjoy looking back on the year, assessing progress I’ve made and looking ahead to all that I still want to do. While long lists of New Year’s resolutions often set you up for failure, I prefer to focus on one professional and one personal goal for the next year. I’m sharing mine below, but I’d also love to hear from you. Reading your comments helps me learn what’s important to you, and to get new ideas for topics to cover on this blog.
My 2020 Goals:
Personal: Take a few minutes each day to meditate.
Professional: Double my efforts to make connections with and listen to front-line staff.
My Favorite Posts from 2019:
Knowing Your Bandwidth
I began thinking about this post a few weeks ago, on a typical Sunday evening. My husband Lou and I had been traveling and we’d just returned home. I intended to use the evening to get the kitchen ready for our remodel that was about to begin, pack up everything that needed to be moved, complete the rest of my New Years cards and get ready for the week ahead. As I began this work, he became frustrated; “Madeline, you have an endless supply of bandwidth, and you have to remember that I do not.” READ MORE
2. The Upside of Vulnerability
We live in a culture with an ever-increasing focus on perfection. Whether it’s at home or in the workplace, we put so much pressure on ourselves to do everything, and do it perfectly. At work, the idea of always being over-prepared, with no question you can’t answer and nothing you haven’t thought of is likely appealing. However, this masks one of our most powerful tools as a leader – vulnerability. READ MORE
3. Developing Our Successors, Millennial Women in the Workplace
I am passionate about sharing advice for young women looking to advance their careers, especially for those looking towards the C-Suite. I offer suggestions on everything from taking stretch assignments and negotiating raises, to adjusting bad speech habits and dressing like a leader. However, I sometimes wonder if we’re expecting younger generations to conform to our workplace norms at the expense of truly letting their unique priorities and values shine through? READ MORE
4. Unlearning the Lessons of Charm School
There is nothing more rejuvenating than spending an evening out with close female friends. The camaraderie, support and laughter that accompanies these types of friendships is, in my opinion, an essential part of mental health. I recently had dinner with my two closest friends; women I can share anything and everything with, and with whom I can truly be myself. We talk about our common experience of having our children get married and laugh about how men (and specifically, our husbands!) need to find “man friends” (why do women seem to be so much better at recognizing the essential nature of supportive friendships!?) READ
5. Developing Helping Relationships, Making the Most of Your Networks
With the growth of social media platforms such as LinkedIn and endless other networking groups, we’ve seen a significant increase in our personal and professional networks. Just think about your connections. Now, think about how many of those people you actually know. How many of them could you help you advance your career or make a meaningful business connections? How many of them could you truly ask for a favor or an introduction? Probably not many. I think it’s important to learn how to develop more “surface-level relationships” into more meaningful relationships that can help us meet our personal and professional goals. READ MORE
Wishing you all a happy and healthy 2020 – please leave me a comment below and tell me what you’d like to read on the blog on the next year.
There is nothing more rejuvenating than spending an evening out with close female friends. The camaraderie, support and laughter that accompanies these types of friendships is, in my opinion, an essential part of mental health. I recently had dinner with my two closest friends; women I can share anything and everything with, and with whom I can truly be myself. We talk about our common experience of having our children get married and laugh about how men (and specifically, our husbands!) need to find “man friends” (why do women seem to be so much better at recognizing the essential nature of supportive friendships!?)
Of course, conversation and commiseration about our lived experience as women comes up as well. At one point in our dinner, my friend reminded us that her mom sent her to the Sears Charm School. If you’re unfamiliar with this relic of the 1970’s – it’s worth a Google search. When we went home, she sent us a link with this flyer:
After reading the newspaper ad (probably the one that sparked my friends mom to sign her up), I realized how much our generation was shaped by this messaging: “A five-week course on hair, makeup, figure control, walking, etc.”
I am often asked why women feel differently, why women leaders are not able to make it on boards or break the glass ceiling as CEO’s of large corporations. Becker’s Healthcare Review recently listed the top salaries in healthcare, and not one person on the list of 30 was a woman (I tried to do some searching here but can’t seem to find the article referenced). Seeing this newspaper ad from the 1970’s (not that long ago), helped to make clear what I already know, somewhat of an “a-ha moment” – we were shaped by a generation of mothers sending us to charm school. It wasn’t just this specific charm school that promoted these ideals for women either, it’s what we grew up seeing and believing everywhere – that our value resided in our looks and our ability to be gentle, refined, polite and attractive to men. This message was everywhere. We have had to unlearn these cultural lessons as we’ve collectively realized just how much they held us back in pursuing passions and identities beyond what the Sears Charm School demanded of us. Do you have specific memories learning how to behave or what was expected of you as a woman? Have those experiences held you back, and do you think young women today are being spared these lessons, or are they still being perpetuated?
