by Madeline Bell | Sep 26, 2018 | Challenges, Confidence, Work-Family Balance
We’re all aware of the health benefits of exercise, but lately I’ve been hearing more conversation around the risks of NOT exercising among friends and co-workers. You’ve probably heard the research citing how terrible sitting over eight hours per day is for your health, and that it is the equivalent to the risks posed from smoking! While this is alarming and should prompt us all to get up and move, exercise is something that almost every woman I know struggles to incorporate into their busy lives. Nationally, seventy percent of mothers with children under 18 work outside the home, with over 75 percent employed full-time. In an era when most women are balancing children, career, family and home responsibilities, how and when are we supposed to find the time to exercise?
Fitting in exercise is not something that only women struggle with, men also balance sedentary jobs and busy schedules. However, I do believe there are unique challenges women face in the effort to incorporate exercise into their schedules. There is the hair and makeup that many of us have to deal with, and still, women in dual-working households tend to do more of the childcare and household responsibilities. Additionally, I’ve written frequently about the importance of developing confidence for women in the workplace, and we know that physical activity can support this effort (I recently shared an article from the Atlantic that shows the confidence gap between girls and boys develops as early as the tween years, unfortunately).
In the ongoing struggle for work-life balance, for me and many women I know, work and family come first. I admit that I am still trying to manage the “self-care” part of the equation. I have tried working with a personal trainer. I always dread going but when I am done, muscles shaking and sweating, I feel accomplished and so much better about myself. My trainer asked me to find a consistent day of the week for our training time, but with work and family demands, I have not been able to “protect” dates and times. I have also recently taken up running. Yes, at the age of 57 I have started to run every other day. I can listen to podcasts and zone out and I feel so accomplished as I increase the number of miles I can run. I ALWAYS feel so much better about myself when I do it, but the reality is that I do have to give something up in order to run. My Apple Watch has also helped me a lot. I watch the circles on my watch fill in to mark my steps, exercise and calories. The other side of this is when the circles are not filled in, I feel frustrated that I could not make exercise a priority that day. 
In an effort to learn from those who have mastered it and empathize with those who are still trying to find what works for them, I’m sharing reflections from women of varying ages and professions on the role of exercise in their lives. I hope there are some tips you can incorporate, and at the very least, feel a sense of comradery.
Kristy, VP of Strategic Marketing at LLR Partners
“After having a 2nd baby I am finding it harder and harder to exercise. At night, I’m exhausted and neither my husband nor I am “off duty” from all the associated things from bedtime to bottle washing until 9:00pm. I work through lunch one day per week and then leave early for an Orange Theory class before picking up kids at daycare. It’s my one day to really sweat and revive mental health. On weekends, we never go out for brunch and have an unwritten agreement that we trade off exercising and don’t commit to being anywhere before 11:00am. So many times, all these plans go haywire though.”
Megan, Trust and Estate Paralegal at Fournaris & Mammarella, P.A.
“I work out at lunchtime. Luckily, I have a job where I have flexibility in my day so most days it works. However, I only get an hour so I have to keep it fairly short, and it does require a quick shower if I do cardio as opposed to Pilates. I usually rinse quickly and don’t wet my hair. I try to keep makeup and hair fix as quick and easily as possible (I don’t wear a ton of makeup or style my hair). I find missing my workout makes me feel low and slightly out of sorts.”
Tracey, Labor & Delivery RN at University of Pennsylvania Health System
“After having a baby and working full time as a nurse I have found finding time for exercise more challenging. It is difficult balancing work, taking care of baby and family and myself without my husband thinking that I prioritize myself over them. It’s a constant struggle. I’m always tired, making it hard to wake up 4:30am to go to the gym at 5:00am before work.”
Clare, Advancement Director at St. Peter’s School
“It has become very difficult to get exercise being a nursing mom with two small children. There are very few gyms with childcare close to my home and no gyms close to my office. I also only get 30 minutes for lunch and will need to spend close to 90 minutes of my day pumping when I return to work. My husband gets an hour plus lunch break, doesn’t need to pump, and has a number of gyms directly near his office including one next door (plus no need to re-do hair and makeup after showering!) The bulk of my exercise is walking with the stroller these days. Part of me really doesn’t care and the other part of me just misses the free time I had before to work out or explore hobbies.”
Eleni, Director of Media and Community Development at Lily Pulitzer
“I do squats when I brush my teeth and other mindless times when I can multi-task. I also do monthly challenges with a girlfriend of mine that we find on Instagram – like a month of push-ups, wall sits, squats, etc. since I have zero time to go somewhere to workout. I know that there IS time to go work out, but I don’t want to leave my babies when I’ve already left them so much during the day. The constant struggle of wanting to be in two places. I also have jogging stroller and go for walk/runs with the babies when I can. It’s the little things.”
Sarah, Emergency Veterinary Technician at Anne Arundel Veterinary Emergency Clinic & Veterinary Medicine Student
“I used to go to the gym regularly in college, but in the first year of vet school I found it really hard to navigate a demanding class schedule, studying and social life without letting exercise slip. I found that by learning to use my downtime wisely (i.e. taking my dog for a hike instead of scrolling through social media mindlessly for an hour) was SO beneficial for my mental health, ability to focus, and general energy level-and after a while, making that decision to go for a jog or hike or bike ride instead of sitting on the couch isn’t even a difficult one! And as a bonus, finding friends who also enjoy outdoor adventures means you can cover all your bases at once.”
Rachel, Project Control Specialist at HNTB
“I do a gym session or yoga class after my toddler’s bedtime because we have limited time together pre-and post-work. Of course, if my husband is away, or I have work to catch up on, or my house chores aren’t done, the workout is the first thing to be sacrificed. I find that having a regular 2-3 times a week workout greatly improves my mental health and efficiency in all aspects of my life. That said, I have gone to the gym maybe once in the last two months. Usually when I need it most, I can’t find the time to go!”
Mary Kate, Case Supervisor at CASA/Youth Advocates, Inc.
“I got into a consistent commitment to my own wellness last year by joining an all-women’s gym with 5 and 6am classes. It’s such an awesome community of women and I can get a workout in and get home before my kids are even awake. Before, I tried to fit in running, yoga and gym around my mom and work schedule, but it was hard to stay motivated and consistent. I’ve seen an enormous increase in my confidence since starting, as well as positive impact on mental health.”
Caitlin, Web Designer
“I love the in-home gym option. Ours is small but efficient; elliptical, weights, pull up bar, bands. I also used to do 21-Day Fix and Insanity videos but it took a lot more motivation to do those after work. With the elliptical I could catch up on my trashy TV and let’s be honest, that’s really all I wanted to do after work. I would plan out my late afternoon snacks accordingly so I could come straight home and workout right away and not be hungry vs. working out after dinner. My husband and I would take turns so someone was always with our son. We’re lucky now and have child care at our gym that we love and they love. Makes it very easy and guilt free!”
Now I’d love to hear from you! What particular challenges do you face when it comes to adding exercise into your busy routine? If you have tips for others, please share them!
by Madeline Bell | Sep 11, 2018 | Career Change, Confidence, Leadership, Mentoring, Professional Growth, Women in the Workplace
I’m in the privileged position of being able to share advice and mentor other women. It’s something I love doing; something I think is so important to help ensure there are more women leaders. While I enjoy being in this role, it’s so nice when the tables are turned, when I get to meet women who have helped paved the roads to equality before me.
A few weeks ago, I was able to sit down with two local women who inspire me – Suzanne Roberts, an award-winning actress, director, producer and television host, and Dr. Lucy Rorke-Adams, a pioneer in the field of neuropathology. These two women have had extraordinarily different career paths and life stories, but I discovered a common thread that I felt compelled to write about: let’s call it relentless curiosity. Both are going strong at ages 97 and 89 respectively, continuing to pursue passions and contribute to the world.
Suzanne Roberts, who was married to the late Ralph Roberts (founder and CEO of Comcast), has reinvented herself over and over again. Beginning her career as an actress, Suzanne went on to create groundbreaking political television programming which resulted in her book, The Candidate and Television, a guide on how both political parties could utilize the new medium of television. This was during a time when few women were working outside the home, much less leading the way in a new field of communication. She received international recognition for her landmark psychotherapy work with Navajo children, which led to a documentary film, Discoveries in Communication, and worldwide lectures to governmental and medical institutions. For the past 15 years, Suzanne has served as an Emmy Award-winning creator and host of Seeking Solutions with Suzanne, a nationally broadcast weekly informational show targeted to an older adult audience (to reiterate: she decided to create, produce and host a weekly television show when she was 80-years-old!). 
I was recently interviewed for her show, and was in awe of this woman; 97-years-old and she sat in front of me, beautifully dressed, thoroughly prepared for the interview, and never missed a beat as she worked with her production staff to create a compelling episode of television. After she interviewed me, I reversed our roles and asked her a few questions of my own. I wanted to know what motivated her, how she was able to stay so driven in her later years. She seemed almost perplexed by the question, seemingly unaware that how she spends her days is not typical for a woman of her age. After a moment she replied, “Well what else would I do? Sit at home and lunch with the ladies? That’s never been my interest.” When I asked her what advice she would give younger women who hope to be as engaged and passionate as she is in their nineties, she spoke about desire. She knew what she wanted, and simply followed those desires. She described what stood out to me as an insatiable interest in the world – an ambition to meet new people and learn new things every day. She knew what she wanted, and she didn’t let anything stand in her way; not her gender, her age nor expectations of what she should be doing with her time. I couldn’t help but leave the interview feeling hopeful and optimistic for what life may hold for me in my next chapters.
I’ve known Dr. Lucy Rorke-Adams for many years and she’s always been a hero of mine. As a colleague at CHOP (she retired after 50 years with the hospital at age 86), I’ve been aware of her innumerable contributions to the field of pediatric neuropathology. I’ve also gotten to know her as a person, and been inspired by her innate leadership abilities. I saw down with her last month for my podcast, Breaking Through with Madeline Bell, to dig a little deeper into what has motivated her all of these years. Much to my surprise, there were many similarities to what I heard from Suzanne Roberts the day before.
Lucy originally wanted to be an opera singer until her out-of-town audition with a Metropolitan Opera mezzo-soprano was cancelled when the singer took sick. Shifting gears, she started as a clinical psychologist and worked evenings in a psychology clinic while earning her medical degree from the University of Minnesota. There were ten women in her cohort, with five making it through the entire program. While Lucy is adamant that her gender never held her back, she did recall going to meet with the Chief of Neurosurgery during her residency, expressing an interest in the specialty. He told her, “You’ll starve to death if you follow that course. No one will send a patient to a woman neurosurgeon.”
She landed on the subspecialty of neuropathology – a relatively under-researched field at the time. She read the available literature on the malformations of children’s brains (most of which was in German – but surprise, surprise, she just happened to be able to read German!) and found little answers to the causes of these malformations. Her work now informs everything we do today in our research on the brains of babies and children. It is no understatement to call her a living legend. She has held various leadership roles, including being the first female president of Philadelphia General Hospital’s medical staff, acting chair of Pathology at CHOP, president of the American Association of Neuropathology, president of the medical staff at CHOP, and unexpectedly helped run the Hospital for 18 months starting in 1986 during an extended search for a chief executive officer. These were not positions Lucy sought out, but fell into because those around her saw her leadership qualities, her extreme capabilities and her brilliance.
There is one anecdote about Lucy that I think aptly describes just why I admire her so much. After her retirement at age 86, she thought a nice post-career hobby was studying Astronomy –not knitting, not playing cards, not even traveling, but learning a new, complex field of science. When the light pollution near her home threated her new passion, she quickly shifted gears. Since then she has poured all of her energy into a foundation that her husband established in 1999, focused on training high school teachers and students in math, physics, chemistry and biology. She recognizes that Americans are falling behind in science, and is laser-focused on improving the education in these STEM subjects.
In an era when we are (rightfully) hyper-aware of the lingering inequalities between men and women, it’s both refreshing and inspiring to see two women who never let their gender hold them back. Both Suzanne and Lucy developed their own unique passions and simply forged ahead despite not having many other women’s examples to follow. I believe their relentless curiosity is a quality we can all cultivate. If we stay open to the world, to ourselves and what we want to accomplish, our lives don’t have to end after retirement. This is a skill I will continue to build, so that when the day comes to reinvent myself, my next passion will be clear.
by Madeline Bell | Jul 26, 2017 | Confidence, Mentoring
I often hear the term “fake it until you make it” – usually in relation to a woman who does not feel confident in her own abilities. In fact, I recently used that term when mentoring a young woman. She was hired by a new client who was really stretching her beyond her comfort zone. This new client was a nationally known brand and the stakes were higher than any client she had experienced working for in the past. She just did not feel that she had the depth of content knowledge or experience. Yet, the client had hired her as the expert.
She did all of the things that you would expect; researching and talking to others who had similar clients and challenges, but she still did not feel confident. As I was prepping her for a first meeting in New York City with her new client, I found myself saying, “just go there and be confident, don’t let your hesitance show to the client, just fake it till you make it.” What I really meant was, don’t let yourself defeat yourself. In the eyes of the client, you are the expert. Make sure you see YOURSELF as the expert too. Come into the room with a air of confidence, a command of the subject matter, reaffirm the problem to the client and turn to other experts on your team to provide the detail.
In reflecting on what I said to her, perhaps “fake it until you make it” led her to believe that she did not have the content knowledge, but she did. It simply meant that she needed to get the age-old foe of women, the imposter syndrome, out of her head. She was not faking anything, she had the right stuff, she just needed a bit of a confidence-booster.
by Madeline Bell | Nov 8, 2016 | Confidence, Networking, Professional Growth, Skills, Starting Out
I recently had the opportunity to meet two very impressive women at an event (as I often do!). During the course of the conversation we began to discuss the events surrounding the Presidential election. One of the women told me that she had the opportunity to follow the family member of a Presidential candidate on the campaign trail. When I asked her how she able to do that, she responded by telling me she was a producer for a major network. I again responded with great enthusiasm and she said, “oh it’s really not a big deal. I just do it part-time…I’m really just a warm body, a hired hand.”
I was so disappointed to hear her response. I was very honest and told her that she really needed to develop an elevator speech that was not so self-deprecating. Her friend replied, “You’re right, she has won two Emmy awards for her work on national news shows! ” Clearly, this woman was accomplished and had built an impressive career. I suggested a few key points to add to her elevator speech so that in similar situations she would be more prepared to respond with a few key points highlighting her competencies and accomplishments.
I often talk to mentees about how to construct and practice their elevator speech. The speech should be about 1-2 minutes, start with a clear articulation of name, your role and a bit about the company you represent. In this story, the women I met could have said:
“I’m Sue Jones, producer at _____ network, where I have worked for ____ years covering such stories as ______. I’ve had the pleasure of being called into action when needed for some of the most interesting stories such as _____.”
Now obviously that can be tailored to feel more off-the-cuff, casual or less structured. Just please be sure to steer clear of self-deprecation or minimizing your real accomplishments, as tempting as it may be to appear humble. If you don’t have an elevator speech, write one today and practice it in the car, or even in an elevator while alone!
by Madeline Bell | Oct 27, 2016 | Challenges, Confidence, Networking, Women in the Workplace
[Photo courtesy of The Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia]
I’m on a train heading from Philadelphia to New York City for a meeting with a group of high-powered people in the healthcare industry. As usual, I’m taking time to review the attendee list and go over notes on their collective backgrounds. I just realized that I’ll be the only woman in the meeting.
Now I’m giving myself a mental pep talk,
“How do I position myself in the room, how will I get a word in edgewise with this group, will they simply dismiss me? Should I practice my power poses in the restroom to increase my testosterone? Remember, keep your voice directed, loud and low.”
Wow, it takes a lot of energy to do this. I’m sure the male attendees are not going through this exercise before entering the meeting.
I’ve always been drawn to the phrase, “chance favors the prepared,” and I’ve advised women many times on how to prepare for meetings such as this. Unfortunately, often times that means more than just doing the background work. For me I know it’s true, being a woman means spending a lot more of my energy on mental preparation for meetings. Who has felt the same way? What have you done to combat this imposter syndrome?
by Madeline Bell | Aug 16, 2016 | Confidence, Skills
One of the topics I’m asked about most often by younger women is confidence — how to gain more, project more, BE more. There are tons of articles on confidence — everything from body language to visualization techniques and more. A lack of confidence seems to be something that affects almost everyone at one point or another and I’ve written on my thoughts about the “Imposter Syndrome” I see so many women experience. I came across this article in Fortune by entrepreneur Beth Monaghan and it spoke to me. It’s her attempt to teach confidence, which I do believe is possible, and I found her advice to be spot on and extremely applicable in a workplace setting. I’d love to hear your thoughts after reading it – do you think successful women can help teach other women to become more confident? What is the best advice you’ve received to help build confidence?
“This Will Make You Make You Appear Less Confident” By Beth Monaghan, Principle & Co-Founder of InkHouse
In an effort to learn from those who have mastered it and empathize with those who are still trying to find what works for them, I’m sharing reflections from women of varying ages and professions on the role of exercise in their lives. I hope there are some tips you can incorporate, and at the very least, feel a sense of comradery. 
